September 21, 1999 afternoon My class finished well enough. As soon as I entered my office, finding Alaric and Jael there, alone, she hit me up with a question. "Ready to go?" Jael's look was not one that I could readily place, though it did not seem to bode well, but Alaric's was one I have seen many times throughout the years. A watchful appraisal. This is not always a look cast upon enemies, I know, and at that moment it was cast upon us, his allies in the War. I wondered, briefly, what he knew that I did not. She said that we were going to go and talk to the roc. I asked her why and she became rapidly defensive.
    "Arashiel wants to talk to the roc. To see what it's doing and intentions for the future and how it's doing. I don't know, Rook. She just wants to talk to it."
    I wondered why she was elevating her voice. Perhaps she was still angry with me for all the recent run-ins. No matter, I had to point out that this was not going to be an easy encounter. Having released the roc in Yellowstone with the thought of this anonymity occluding our actions, our very choice of venue was now acting against us. The roc would have had no problems covering a great deal of distance and that part of the country remains quite rugged. Arabis' resonance might be our only way of finding it readily.
    "We're driving, by the way. In cars," Jael added, casually.
    "Why, that's a fifteen hour drive, one way. And we do not know how long it would take us to find the roc."
    "This is to throw the Djinn off," Jael countered, with a moment of inspiration. "Even though the Djinn is attuned to the Tapestry, they won't be able to mount an effort quickly enough to get us because we will be moving. That will give us some safety. We can act without anyone watching. Alaric says it is not a good idea to take the Tapestry Heavenside right now."
    On the other side, this would bring demonic attention to another Tether and alert them, were they not already, to our interest in the Yellowstone area. I had no doubt that the Djinn, though perhaps unable to coordinate any effort to follow us after a hasty departure, would be carefully tracking where we went. Its attunement had not faded yet. Furthermore, there was still the question of the mole. What led us to think that they could not mount an effort quickly enough to meet an opportunity, as they had with Arashiel? In Yellowstone we would be in unfamiliar territory . . . and for all we knew, Wyoming was a seething hotbed of demonic activity. I suspected the many counter-culture movements in the area would have much of Hell's interest.
    Curious that Alaric chose to leave at that moment. On second thought, no. Being a Mercurian, he would already know the nature of my relationship with Jael. He would be able to predict some of the likely outcomes of our getting into any form of a debate.
    "They could take it if we walk through Heaven," Jael continued, meaning the Tapestry. I found this curious. Heaven was not, in my experience, a place where people were accosted. Perhaps Jael's experience from the Purity Wars had been otherwise. Although I was not eager for this extended absence, I felt that Jael had the strength of logic and experience behind her. I agreed.
    When I got on the phone to call Sangeeta, Jael cut in, "Oh, and Irad was watching the Painted Pot."
    "Was that the source of loomy feeling?" I asked. I did not have time to consider the ramifications of this. Jael was continuing. "Maybe, but um. Irad is coming in the other car."
    "Why?"
    "Arashiel thinks he can be redeemed."
    "Then allow Arashiel to pursue that," I answered.
    "He let us go, Rook. Irad let us out."
    "Which leads you to believe you what? Is he here to help you?" I continued. "I don't think he can be trusted."
    "Maybe not. He helped Arashiel. And Arabis and I, and the Irad I knew loved Ethereals more than anything. I was his servitor. I know him," Jael pointed out.
    "Something has changed in him, I assume," I stated.
    "Don't assume," she finished, and once again we came to the ultimate block between us, the one that will separate us for all of our good intentions unless she . . . and I. Yes, unless WE can overcome it. Here we had Irad, a former angel and currently servitor of Hell. He had been such for a great while, for a knew enough of his history now from the little snips and bits I had been allowed to know that he had been fallen since at least about the time of the Purity Crusades. That was a long time ago. Jael had been to Hell to save me. She had seen it barely at all and yet had come back shaken from it. And she thought that just because Irad had been one of her compatriots that more than a millennia in Hell had not changed him. No, she was instantly ready to leap to his defense. Her Cherubic nature was obviously quite strong, or the bond between them must have been enormous. Either way, he was not a demon and had been for a long time.
    So, he showed up in Hell and let them out. He assisted Arashiel during her encounter with the Hell triad. Helpful, yes, but had he announced himself prior to that? No, he had skulked outside, creating a 'loomy' feeling.
    Jael assumed this was all part of some massive internal goodness within him. Perhaps it is . . . I did not know him when he was holy and do not know him now that he is not. But Jael was blind to the possibility that this could be something more insidious, something larger. The forces against us have shown no lack of ability to coordinate thus far!
    "I don't think it would be appropriate to go," I began. "I am sworn to kill demons."
    "Your oath is kill if you want to. You don't have to," Jael pointed out, somewhat archly.
    "If she wants to redeem Irad, can't she pursue that here?" I asked.
    "It's her Tapestry," Jael stated.
    "Yes, it is her Tapestry," I agreed, with feeling. I do not think there has a been a moment since the beginning of this endless tirade that this fact has been in doubt.
    "I am going one way or another. If you want to talk to her, you know Arashiel's phone number," Jael finished, and that was that. I could see that the mantle of debate had been passed off. I would either go or not go as Arashiel convinced me. I knew from prior experience that Arashiel had an uncanny ability to come up with something logical to explain almost any situation or decision. What would it be this time? So, I called Arashiel and asked her to join us at the Board so that I could hear this little bit of sophistry.
    While we were waiting Jael asked about Alaric's presence.
    "He's come to negotiate for me, should I need it."
    "And you're pissed about that," Jael said.
    "Yes, I know that. I don't need a nanny. I am drawing him aside from vital assignments. This work is inappropriate," I explained.
    "That's Michael's decision, not yours," Jael argued.
    "I don't need that assistance," I insisted. "And as for Arashiel and her project with Irad, others redeem, not me. How do we know this is not some larger plot?"
    "He saved Arashiel and when you got there you didn't attack him then, Rook. You didn't ask him or resonate him or anything," Jael pointed out.
    "I thought he was an angel," I answered, honestly. Of course I would think this. Why was that so illogical a conclusion to draw. Demons attack angel for highly sought after artifact. Unidentified person helps angel. Hmmm, who would help an angel? Another angel, most likely. 1 + x = 2 generally works when x = 1. Not that convoluted.
    When Arashiel arrived I began immediately.
    "What is the benefit of doing this?" I asked.
    "Irad's helped you before, Rook. He assisted in your rescue from Hell," Arashiel said.
    "I don't know how."
    "He allowed Arabis and Jael out. He assisted me in the protection of the Tapestry. He claims that he does not want Jael to Fall. He does not wish to see her as Djinn," Arashiel explained.
    "Is there some danger of this?" I asked, suddenly feeling a bit of alarm. I turned to Jael and asked her specifically. "Is there something I don't know that Irad does? Are you in danger of becoming a Djinn?"
    "If you wouldn't be so thick, perhaps no," Arashiel murmured.
    Thick? Evidently I was being thick because not only did I not see what detail about Jael becoming a Djinn I was missing, I also did not see what in this situation connoted a mental morass. "I still don't understand."
    "He needs to be tested. We need to test his loyalty," Arashiel said, while Jael just shook her head and gave up, visibly gave up.
    "In what way?" I asked. Arashiel was trying to test a demon?
    "If these are his true intentions it is worth finding out, trusting him to see how much he stands by what he has said."
    "You want to use Jael as bait to find if Irad is trustworthy?" I asked in disbelief, mindful of how quickly Arashiel had cried out when we suggested using another one of his attunements, the Tapestry, as bait.
    "Eli knew he was a demon!" Arashiel cried.
    "I can not explain the working of an Archangel. Maybe he spared Irad because he had helped you," I said. Eli is Creation and has not been a standard part of Heaven for many years. He seemed to me, entirely, to be the least predictable of the Archangels.
    "Irad does not wish the Tapestry to be in Hell. You may resonate him and see he has no designs on the Tapestry. You can determine whether his intentions are honorable," Arashiel suggested.
    "Why are we taking him on the road trip? Evidently I am as thick as you have described me," I replied, feeling I was obviously missing something quite key.
    "Being Dragons, Irad may be able to gain the trust of the roc and persuade it to not remain on earth," Arashiel said. What? Why connection would a roc have to a demon of Dragons more than he would have to an angel of ki-rins or anything else. Besides, Jael was also a dragon. If something about being a dragon would serve as the mystical Elixir of Controlling Ethereals then could she not do it? I pointed this out to Arashiel. "And we want Irad to be our spokesperson in issues concerning the Tapestry?" I concluded.
    "We're outnumbered here . . .we have attracted undue attention. Game, Fate, Death, Dismemberment. They are all here. If you stay behind you fight them all yourself," Jael said. Such a situation had some appeal, actually. I did not let them know this.
    "We need you with us Rook," Arashiel pleaded.
    "For my pithy comments? The roc did not like me," I pointed out.
    "I trust you understand why," Jael asked.
    "You do not need me there if Irad can work his magic with the roc."
    "Is avoidance consistent with War?" Arashiel asked.
    "You're questioning MY interpretation of War?" I asked, incredulous. I certainly wanted to say something more about that. I did not.
    "I am hoping to learn from you, Rook, how to be a better Servitor of War," Arashiel said.
    "There are certain qualities that I do not believe can be taught," I muttered. darkly. Those who serve Michael have the ability to get things done where Laurencians can not. We do what it takes. In my view of angelic politics, however, this does not extend to interactions with other angels. I treat others with honor and respect, not as one of the enemy. This belief could not be taught. Emulated, perhaps, but not taught, and it must have a firm foundation of solid trustworthiness upon which to be based. Without that, all would fall. "I am sure that you perspectives on the world are not unique, Arashiel. You can learn elsewhere."
    "You are the only one I know," Arashiel replied. "Besides, we will need you along with us to help if there are any attacks along the way." "Jael countered the logic of that argument earlier," I pointed out.
    "What do you think Dinhabah is doing?" Arashiel asked, changing the topic and leaving me quite unclear as to this mental leap. Why would that matter at this moment?
    "I suppose maintaining his role," I offered. Seeing that I was not going to win this argument I relented. I was stuck between two forces of nature, Arashiel and Jael. Each one was a cyclone twirling in a different direction. They swirled against each other incessantly, only combining their forces whenever anyone else might go against one of them and then, beware! I did not exactly blame them for so stalwartly supporting each other at my expense. I have come only recently on the scene whereas they have known each a great deal of time. It merely makes these interactions more frustrating and less fruitful.
    Soon, we were in Alaric's car, with him driving. I was in the front seat and Jael, with the Tapestry, was in the rear. The hours passed. A few projectiles were thrown at out car, we being behind the van. There were gas stops and food stops but mostly we just traveled. Alaric was beside me, driving and obviously enjoying the festivities of the group before us. Jael sat in silence. I spent the hours thinking and watching the scenery. The plains of Wyoming reminded me, a bit, of the great savannas of China. I spent a good deal of time reconsidering those times, those campaigns. Castledust and his minions, the endless hours on horses crossing those nameless miles to do battle against an intractable foe. Those were good times. Part of me certainly missed them a great deal.
    But these were good times as well. For all their difficulty, my thickness and near-constant confusion, there was much to be applauded about my current situation. I was learning many new things, skills that would serve me well in the future. Whatever the result of our liaison, I was grateful for all that had happened between me and Jael. I hoped it would continue thus, though I feared that too much damage had been done. Her readiness to give up on me, her primary support of Arashiel . . . though really, I suppose it should not be a question of preference. I suppose it should be a question of equality. It did not work that way, however.
    Mostly, I just watched. I had nothing really to say so I did not say. I did not approve of the fact that Alaric was with us and, while it WAS Michael's decision, there had been nothing in his orders that specified pointless conversation.
    At one point, Alaric got a phone call. I only heard one side, naturally, but it was not too difficult to decipher the identity of the caller.
    "No, we aren't. You noticed. This concerns you?"
    Pause.
    "We are not in the party car."
    Pause.
    "I know that is not directed at me," with a laugh.
    Pause.
    "I think I got assigned here because I don't have any issues and I can collect some. How is it up there?"
    Issues?
    "The water gun is not even getting to the hood. You can tell him that."
    Pause.
    "Anything you want me to say to anybody?" Pause.
    "You know, I'll think of something if you don't."
    Concerning what?
    "I can use my brains fine. I will take care of it."
    Pause.
    "I have heard about you, Arashiel."
    The phone was replaced and we were allowed our unbroken silence once more. Alaric moved into the van on our next stop and I became the driver. I was grateful for the activity.
    Later, when we had stopped at a gas station to refill the cars and allow the others to move around some, I was still in the driver's seat when Arabis came to speak with me.
    "Are you in trouble?" she asked.
    "No."
    "They why is War here?"
    "He is here to help us with our eventual negotiations," I replied.
    "He is asking questions about you to help with negotiations?" Arabis clarified.
    "I am not sure. I have not spent much time with him yet." He is asking questions about me? I wondered what they might be.
    "It seems strange to me. What's going on?" Arabis asked.
    "With what?"
    "Why he is here, why you do not speak. For that matter, I have no business with what's going on between you and Jael ...I have not seen much of you of late but my question is ..what happened to that young Malakite who was at the forefront of everything; damn the torpedoes, into the brink?"
    "I am still here," I assured her.
    "I don't see it, Rook."
    "There has not been a great deal of combat recently. I assure you when there is I will be at its forefront."
    "What about the Rook that said we should tell each other skills so we can utilize each other?" Arabis asked.
    "I was in error," I answered, flatly.
    "What about the Rook who said he was never in error?" Arabis went on.
    "In that too I was in error," I replied, wondering when I had said that. I doubted that I had but there was no point in arguing it.
    "When I came here I was very relieved to know that you were here."
    "If there is a battle we will fight well together," I agreed.
    "That's the problem. I don't know who you are. I am not sure what happened to that old Malakite," Arabis said.
    "I am here. This is the same mind, same vessel. Nothing has changed with those things," I countered.
    "But the strategy. You used to be the best at coming up with those things," Arabis said.
    "I can't act at the moment, not until Arashiel makes her decision on the Tapestry."
    "When she does it will be too late. What about Victoria Strassen, Tick Tock, Arnu?"
    "I tried to become more than what I am and I was taken down. I am not good at hidden agendas. I see a demon and I go and kill it. I was trying to be something inappropriate."
    "You could still suggest things to Arashiel concerning the Tapestry," Arabis offered.
    "I will defend it. That is a worthy mission. I will defend."
    "Where were you when Arashiel was attacked?" Arabis asked.
    "I got there as fast as I can," I pointed out.
    "That's the point, you were not there."
    What? Am I supposed to follow Arashiel everywhere? Am I now her personal bodyguard?
    "You are the strategist. You are the organizer."
    "I can not organize this group. I tried to work with this group, to make us ready for the assailants that we could assume would come. All of my ideas were shot down. They were not taken and worked with, constructive ideas offered to replace that which was unacceptable. They were simply cast aside. There was no support for my efforts. This group wishes to work in pure chaos alone."
    "I am sorry if you did not feel you got the appropriate support from me. I thought I had made my feelings known the last time we worked together."
    I felt guilt at that point. Although Arabis had not supported me during that ill-fated meeting I held at the library, she was not the source of my current dilemmas and I did not wish her to believe that she was. "I have seen little of you of late so you can hardly have done much to disappoint me. As far as the way you think I have changed, I have not. I was made a Malakite. If I were supposed to be something else, Michael would have made me that."
    "But you organized us in Colorado Springs and it worked out," Arabis countered.
    "I did no such thing," I snorted, full well remembering how things were conducted in that city. "If my preferences in organization had been taken into account we would never have gone running through a balloon festival randomly resonating everyone there and encountering a Shedite whose attention was then brought to our party. We would have taken care of the assignment we had been asked to accomplish. We would have gone to the wedding and nothing would have happened. We would not have the Tapestry, we would not have me defending Perry. Things would have been a lot more coherent."
    "If you had organized Colorado Springs as you wanted, none of this would have happened," Arabis reiterated. "But maybe we were supposed to do those things. Gabriel knew, thus Eli could have known what would happen in Colorado Springs. Regardless, you did organize the final party for the wedding and banquet afterwards."
    "And with what stellar success I did so. No, as Jael so eloquently put, they found out all our attunements in five minutes. Because of my inept planning at that encounter, they then knew all Boulder could offer except the Seneschal in the Library."
    "We identified the Calabite and the woman. They identified themselves as well."
    "Yes, which has provided little advantage to us thus far," I countered.
    Arabis considered in silence for a few moments. "Unfortunately the world is not about demon killing, Rook."
    "Mine is. I don't know what you have been doing while you have been gone, anyway."
    "I have been working on a servitor of Lust. I want to drive him mad or something."
    "Good," I said, approvingly. At least in this she would be able to work unfettered and with some hope of success.
    "You are not the same Rook."
    "What is different?" I asked.
    "You are giving up. It's not just about the next demon. Saving this human, that human."
    "I am doing what I can. I am still working on Perry Urquhart. And as for the work needing done in Boulder, I am not alone there."
    "What does it matter?"
    "I should work on my own," I confided.
    "Because we cramp your work?" Arabis asked.
    "Because I cramp theirs," I replied.
    "No angel has the right to reserve any ability to fight the war," Arabis said.
    "I am fighting the war, Arabis."
    "I just find it so ironic. When we first got together at Sand Creek I was such a brat. I didn't know how to work with anyone and you took me and made me get along and work together until I learned to do it. I was an idiot for years. That was from you, but I don't see it in you anymore. It is ironic that you who taught me to work in a group are now not working with them," Arabis insisted.
    This was entirely unfair of her to say and I resented her doing so. She was an ancient angel, older than me, and could hardly have gone so long without having learned these lessons. I doubted that she made it that long only to have them taught by me.
    Of course, I was had lived nearly nine hundred years and was only now learning the lessons of working with certain types of angels. Maybe it was the same after all.
    "If you know some mystical recipe for working with a Creationer, tell me."
    "I don't know. I don't know an answer for depression, either," Arabis answered. Implying what?
    "I'm in a situation that should have been easy and helpful but has not been. I don't know how to deal with it so I have decided to do what I know until I figure it out."
    "That's the most honest thing you've said to me yet. I don't know what will happen with the roc, but we should find Daspit's home base. We should try to cut him off before he gets to find another strike. I would ask you to apply your considerable tactical skill to how we will do this. I will think about it, you do the same. Regardless of what happens with everyone else, I think you underestimate your own importance to them and to me. And one more thing. If Alaric asks any more questions I will have to poke his eyes out so you will have to stop me," Arabis said, and I could see that she was feeling a great deal of emotion over this.
    As she left I too felt a strong flow of emotions. I was sad that I had caused her any emotional pain. I was doing a lot of that of late, it seemed. I vowed that I would make some changes soon, even if that meant extricating myself from the very situation that caused these things. A short while later, we resumed our journey, and Alaric continued to ride in the van, leaving me and Jael alone.
    "What was that about with Arabis?" Jael asked.
    "She wants me to come up with a strategy to take out Daspit," I replied.
    "Are you going to?"
    "I will try," I answered.
    "That's fifteen minutes of conversation?" Jael asked.
    "I caught her up on what she has missed," I continued.
    "And for that the two of you had to yell?"
    "She wanted to know why Alaric is here, why he thinks I'm unhappy, why I am not acting more like the Rook she used to know ....lots of questions."
    "What kind of answers did you give her?"
    "I tried to be truthful. Alaric is here because I am unhappy, partially."
    "Your superior noticed," Jael stated.
    "I don't want him to notice."
    "Why? He cares!"
    "I don't want him to send someone to assist me," I shot back. "You could still become an Outcast. Loneliness sucks," Jael said.
    Me? I could become an Outcast? Ha!
    "I did not think I was going to be lonely. I am a Malakite of War, I am trying to act that. I don't want to make you angry or your life more difficult."
    "Are you still upset over the geas from the Lilim?"
    "No, you are a Cherub. That's what you do. I am still guilty, though. The geas would not be an issue were it not for my weakness. I am trying to find the best way to help the group. I want the Tapestry taken care of. I have to wait for her to make a decision. I can not make one because you are too protective of Arashiel, you won't let her be in danger. This is logical and as it should be. You have known her for thousands of years where I have only recently come on the scene. But I am impotent in regards the Tapestry. She acts as if it is her own private domain, that Tapestry. And I can not deal with her because of your feelings for her."
    "Don't make me responsible," Jael said.
    "I don't know how to deal with your anger," I confided.
    "What, you think I am going to bite you?" she asked.
    "I am not afraid of your bites, it's the accompanying anger."
    "Then practice arguing with me. That does not mean you should sit around and do nothing."
    "I will wait for Arashiel," I stated.
    "You still have to grow. You can't stagnate."
    "I had thought I was doing that. Unfortunately, it has had to be put on hold for the moment. We are lacking the right mood in Boulder for pottery and painting," I said. "I will continue pursuing them when I can. And as for our current occupation, I don't prefer to spend a lot of time with demons."
    We lapsed into silence but it was not a comfortable one or one that had changed into happiness and ease. Things would still need work.
    Later, we arrived.
    Mindful of my repeated chiding on this subject, I resonated Irad. His most noble in this last year according to his own standards; free a Malakite that, in Irad's opinion, was being held unfairly, work actively to keep the Tapestry out of inappropriate hands, he cracked his own Heart.
    Ignoble in this last year according to his own standards; betrayed his Superior, lied to a colleague to further his own aims, mentally messed up someone who could not fight back.
    As we entered the forest to make our way to the Tether, I felt a cold and most unpleasant chill within me. This Irad had allowed Arabis and Jael out of Hell. He had assisted Arashiel in her work to safeguard the Tapestry. And now, it seemed that it was Irad that had allowed me to escape my cell. Until I resonated him, I had completely forgotten that entire encounter, but the knowledge had returned with a force. A Habbalah, covered with tattoos, releasing me because there was no honor in inflicting weakness on the strong. Irad had released me. Were I a human I would have wanted to puke. Wasn't this a nice little round-robin? I owe my release from Hell to a demon. Worse than owing a demon anything, he now shows up to become an intimate part of our raggle-taggle band. Of the angels within it, one flocks to him as a redemption candidate and the Cause of the Month, another insists that he remains part of Heaven's hordes and a third must look upon favorably because of Archangel. And now I owe him as well, or would owe him if he were a creature of any honor. Jael thinks he is.
    Oh, this entire situation made me so seethingly angry that I wanted to fly into a frenzy of destruction right there and then and do my best possible impersonation of a Calabite. Perhaps I would have my outlet soon . . . there were demons ahead.
    As we approached Matt sung Harmony on the lot of us.
    At that moment, I wanted his flower picking head ripped from his body, his heart shattered and his soul cast into trauma for eons.
    "We have secured this Tether for Laurence."
    Oh, Laurencians.
    I bit my tongue until I could taste the sweet, and warm metallic sting of it trickling down my throat. I conversed with the leader, briefly, purposefully baiting him. Though certainly part of God's plan, I had never had any love for this lot.
    "We can relieve you," I said.
    "You are lying, Malakite."
    "Fine then. You protect the Tether, I will protect people who use it," I countered.
    I tried to enter the cave, but could not, so I flashed into it as bird.
    I met Arabis and the Seneschal. "Where are your people?"
    "They are guarding the roc. Can you get rid of it?"
    "No, we can't put it back where we got it. I am willing to help though," I said. Despite my anger, now put into the back of my mind because of the immediacy of this situation and my culpability in it, I wanted to aid in any way I could.
    "You are one, they are many."
    "I am still willing."
    "They have been waiting there for days now."
    "What does your lord want done?" Arabis asked.
    "I have not been able to talk to him. He is not answering. I do not think he would advise me to start a fight with the Sword," the Seneschal answered.
    "I will help as I can," Arabis said, and I echoed these sentiments.
    "Then go and speak with the roc," the wolf finally concluded.
    We left and I told our group to follow me. Noticing that Irad and Arashiel had left, we went to recover them before making our way (via Arabis' attunement) toward the roc.
    I retained my sparrow vessel, allowing me rapid movement. In this fashion I would have to spend as little time as possible near Irad. Near any of them. I need to think. I obviously need to calm down as well. I need to do something different . . . my current strategy is not working. I realized that it might help if I did what some of the others were doing. It seems to be working for them. Maybe, after all these centuries, the time has come for me to consort with Hell.

Return to Fugue's Main Page